I had an illuminating conversation with my good friend, Ruthie Dean who (like me) has changed her name and identity, to the authentic Maia Carroll and I am Raven – obviously. She is one of the good friends from SGI in DC who I miss so much – she made me promise to visit the DC kaikan on Embassy Row (the one we almost saw that day in DC) and reminded me that it was my pioneering efforts as well that built that kaikan. How I cried at saying good bye again yesterday….for me, there is nothing like the DC members who are still my best friends in faith.
Anyhow, Maia shared her experience with her boy friend – and how they were beginning to slip into a somewhat co-dependent relationship, one where he kept vowing to do his art and then being so comfortable with her that he never quite got around to it. And Maia, being the strong and independent woman that she is, made a determination that she was not going to rest and be comfortable with a partner who didn’t show courage and integrity, who couldn’t be strong enough to keep his vow, to honor his determination.
So, in the middle of the night, she removed her door key from his key ring. Needless to say, it was a wake up call for him when he couldn’t get into her house and had to call her. And they took the opportunity to clearly communicate about the issues involved and she did not give him back the key – which might have been the easy thing to do – because she really does enjoy his company.
And the great news is that he is finally doing his art, moving in the direction of his greatest dreams, keeping his vow to her and to himself. And their relationship has deepened.
Thus, when Henry asked me last night if I was going to London, I knew my answer. On many levels, it is no….no because your wife is taking care of you…..no because your family has not asked me to….and no because you need to heal, not only your body but your heart, your integrity, and your determination. I will love you forever…together or apart we are still one soul. And I will not settle for less than I deserve….a courageous man of integrity who loves me.
